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After an unbearably long winter of urban hibernation, Gilmore Girls re-runs and zero social appearances, men and women are walking outside for the first time in 4 months, and everyone wants to have sex with each other. The problem is, nobody knows how or where to meet people these days.
Tinder is hit or miss. Work relationships are a no-no. Cheating is frowned upon. Instagram Direct Message Instagram is the new fuck app. Everyone is secretly banging each other on Instagram via direct message. It starts with a heart notification from a stranger. Then, in an act of playful digital flirtation, you heart one of their photos from last year. After TBT picture likes, things get intense.
He comments on a photo with a smiley emoji, then you do the same. The silence is broken with a DM picture of something ironic. Suddenly, they look over and wave to you. This is as close as anyone will ever get to starring in a cheesy romantic comedy. Steamy hot beans are the secret glue to blossoming relationships. Its central location is a breeding ground for attractive intellectuals looking for sex and a good book to read. Everyone is frantically rushing around the aisles to grab the cheapest bottle of booze they can find.
In the heat of the rush hour, everyone suddenly looks at one another. At first, everyone secretly judges others by alcohol choice, then suddenly, in the boredom of waiting in the longest lineup ever, conversation explodes and pickups are happening left, right and center.
Bartenders are intimidatingly cool. Avoid the piss bush and position yourself in the prime sunlight of the afternoon. Everyone on the entire planet is picking up at this location. Picking up is a breeze. A silent vow of appreciation and understanding for music lovers who continue to buy records. Sign-up for our weekly newsletter and get the best of She Does the City in your inbox or follow us on Twitter and Facebook!